Dear EFF: Yes, it’s true, we’re evil, greedy bastards and we want to take away your freedom.

So the Electronic Frontier Foundation has put out this hatchet job blasting us and saying that we’re evil and bad and nasty and greedy and want to rob everyone of their freedoms and force all of our customers into a world of Apple slavery. Oooh, EFF, you got us! Damn you, EFF! How do you do it? You see right through me. If it weren’t for you my scheme to take over the world could go forward as planned. Because it’s true. We’re evil. I’m evil. Very, very evil. When I’m in my car, driving? And I see a squirrel or a cat in the road? I swerve and try to hit it. It’s true. I can’t help myself. It gets me off. In fact, I’m not a normal human being. I’m Satan. I’ve come to live among you so that I can turn you into mindless zombies with my iPod and DRM.

Little back story here. This whole thing started over our incredibly cool new program that lets you turn a song into a ringtone for only 99 cents — as long as you’ve already bought the song for 99 cents. The second 99 cents is the cost of cutting out a short snippet from the full song which you already bought and paid for. EFF says we’re charging a dollar per ringtone, which is a factual error, but I wouldn’t hold my breath waiting for a correction. These guys clearly have an axe to grind and they’re not going to let the facts get in the way of their anti-Apple jihad. But how can you believe anything they say when they can’t even get their basic facts straight? Total shills for Microsoft.

Anyway, it could be worse. At least we didn’t invent the word ringle.

FWIW, I don’t like DRM either. I’m doing what I can to get rid of it. To see my earlier thoughts on DRM, read this. (Photo: Bernd Hammer, Lair & Garden.)