I’m on Day 5 of Master Cleanse and it’s amazing

Seriously, friends, even if you’re not trying to lose weight, even if you just want to feel refreshed and revitalized, with more energy than you’ve ever had in your life, I highly recommend this. For ten days you eat no solid food and drink a mixture of fresh-squeezed lemon juice with maple syrup and cayenne pepper. First day you feel great. Day two you get grumpy. Day three you should not be around other human beings. But on day four the clouds start to lift. Yesterday was pretty good. Today I feel like a friggin golden god. I’ve lost seven pounds. Goal is to drop 20 before I’m done. Better yet I’m sleeping only four hours a night and feel totally refreshed. I’m trying to get Peter Oppenheimer to try this. Instead he’s gone on something he calls “the Junior Cleanse,” which involves eating nothing but cheeseburgers and milk shakes plus one latte every morning laced with laxatives. And a super hot bath every night. Says he’s been doing this since college, and he swears by it.