Hey lady? There’s this expression — RTFM. Have you heard of it?

Oh my God. Read this. Or don’t and just let me summarize it for you. Some dipshit lady in Orlando went to the local Genius bar because her iPhone wasn’t ringing and goes on and on about how the guys at the Genius bar couldn’t figure out what was wrong and reinstalled her software and wiped out her contacts and they talked about their girlfriends and ignored her and told her to go away and still couldn’t fix it so she had to go back the next day and it turns out she had the fucking ringer switch switched off. Guy at the store goes “flip” and her phone is “fixed.” Jesus. Nevertheless she rants and raves about the poor quality of service at the Genius bar, and goes on and on about how our customer service sucks and we’re idiots and so forth. Right. We’re idiots. Because she flipped the switch on the side of her phone and didn’t bother to read the manual that came with the phone so she didn’t realize she’d turned her ringer off. Ahem.

But then she admits: “Now, if I hadn’t immediately misplaced the little booklet that came with the phone, I probably would have read about the little switch and saved myself a lot of aggravation.”

Um, so true. And lady? If you weren’t such a frigtard you also could have saved yourself the embarrassment of writing this essay and letting the whole world know what an annoying pain-in-the-ass blame-others-for-your-mistakes moron you are. Oops. Was that sexist? Anyway, I’ve called Moshe and we’re having her iPhone service shut off.

Meanwhile we’ve also fired the frigtards at that Orlando store who did not know how to flip a fucking switch on a phone. That’s the good news. Bad news is they all were immediately hired by Geek Squad.