Watch your back, wigger


Vanilla Ice imitator Eminem is suing us over downloads. Or something. See here. My lawyers looked at the complaint and said it’s all written in fake ghetto slang and rhymes. But when they translated it into English it said: “Dear Mr. Jobs, My career is over and nobody pays attention to me anymore, but I’m hoping this publicity stunt will spark some interest in me again. Thank you.”

My lawyers say we’ll just drag it out for a while and mess with his head. Personally I’d like to send Moshe Hishkill and a couple of his guys out to Detroit and have them track down this punk and put a cap in his ass. We’ll see.