So we’re getting some mail about the new ads on the blog. Apparently people don’t like them. So let me get this straight. You’ll wait in a line for a week and pay six hundred bucks for a phone and walk out in triumph while Apple retail zombies cheer for you, but you’re outraged because there’s an advertisement on a blog? Um, yeah. Little hint, and I’m sorry if this shocks you: Our goal here at Apple is to prise as much money out of you as possible. The zombies aren’t cheering for you because you’re cool; they’re cheering because you just goosed our stock price. I know. You thought we were in business to restore a sense of childlike wonder to your lives. Frankly I’d like to do that, but Katie Cotton says we gots to get paid like everyone else.

Another thing: I also know that a lot of the ads are not so beautiful. Which for Microsoft users wouldn’t be a problem but for Apple fans, let’s face it, is tough. You’re used to beautiful objects. You care enough to pay more for them. So here’s a strategy that might work. Just close your eyes, precious ones, and skip over the advertisements. Try to pretend they’re not there. Engage in a little self-hypnosis and maybe they won’t upset your delicate sensibilities. Better yet, do what I do and use a little cognitive behavioral therapy. Rescript your personal narrative and apply the RDF and convince yourself that the ads do not really exist. I know it’s hard. I’m sorry, gentle ones. Please know that I really do care about your well-being.