Well Fortune is getting loads of mileage out of its cover story on the Beastmaster making headway in China by slashing the price of Windows to three bucks. But the best part of the fallout comes from freetards, who first said the story wasn’t true and that Linux still rules in China (ahem). Then they said, well, maybe it is true that Windows is winning, but if so this means that really Linux has “won” because it has forced Microsoft to lower its prices. Now they’ve moved on to story #3, which says Fortune is right and Windows is winning in China but this is only because Microsoft cheats. See here where some Linux bootlicker (shurely “independent, objective, trustworthy journalist”? Ed.) says the only reason Windows is winning in China is because Microsoft lets people pirate it and/or charges a mere three bucks for Windows and Office.

Freetard fails to notice the huge hole in his argument which is that — imagine Sam Kinison screaming now — fucking Linux is fucking free you fucking idiot! Linux is even cheaper than Windows. You can have it and all the other freetard apps that go with it for zero dollars, which is approximately three bucks less than what Microsoft charges. So, given the choice of a free software system or one that costs three bucks, the Chinese are choosing the one that costs three bucks. It’s not cheating. It’s called competition. The Chinese put the two products side by side and decided that if cost isn’t an issue, Windows is better.

Freetard the Bootlicker says Microsoft is “dumping products on the market at far below cost.” Um, is that not exactly what Linux vendors have been doing? Enabled by rich subsidies from IBM and other hardware players? And has it not occurred to you that the reason IBM pumped one billion dollars (visualize pinkie in corner of Palmisano’s mouth) into Linux was precisely so that it could force Microsoft to cut prices on Windows and thereby choke off Microsoft’s oxygen supply? Think, jackass. Why is it okay for IBM and its Linux puppets to give software away free but not Microsoft? And why do you care anyway? What difference does it make to you what OS some people in China use? Why does this bother you? Why do you filthy hacks come so unhinged when it comes to Linux? Why are you so emotionally wrapped up in the fortunes of some weird bit of software?

Don’t get me wrong. I have no love for the Borg. And I’m a big fan of open source software and we use a lot of it at Apple (wrapped up in our own proprietary code and sold for big money, of course — thanks, suckas!) But I’m sick of hearing freetards tell me how my stuff sucks compared to theirs. It’s been going on for years and it’s just not true. It’s like Yugo claiming to be superior to Mercedes. It’s ridiculous. Our stuff is way, way better than yours. That’s not an opinion. It’s a fact. That’s why people pay so much for our software. And when it comes to Microsoft v. Linux, you freetards need to take a long, hard look at yourselves.

For the record, the real reason Microsoft got a foothold in China is that they invested in the country. They built research labs, hired Chinese people, helped the Chinese build an ecosystem of third-party software companies. And before you go crying about that being “unfair,” take note — it’s exactly what IBM has done in BRIC and elsewhere, building labs to push Linux. Microsoft is just keeping up with Big Brother.

Freetards, face facts. You’ve lost. You’ve had sixteen years to try and build a desktop operating system, and you still can’t get your shit together. Nobody wants your software. It’s not Microsoft’s fault. It’s yours. Because trust me, if you truly developed a kick-ass OS with tens of thousands of drivers and easy installation and reliable performance, you’d be winning. But you’re not. Firefox caught on, right? Why? Because it rocked.

Desktop Linux, however, is a different story, and in your heart of hearts you know this. It’s a bad imitation of Windows and can’t even come close to OS X. Want more proof? India rejected the XO machine. Hardly anybody else is placing orders for Negroponte’s miracle laptop, despite the low, low price of only one hundred dollars. Now the Chinese don’t want Linux. They’re not buying into your crazy crusade. Sorry. And you guys are starting to sound like the world’s biggeest whiners, constantly blaming everyone around you for your own failures. You’re the John Kerry of software.