So he’s been with us for less than a week but we’re ready to shoot him. First of all, he’s not a vegetarian, and he keeps bringing meat into the house even though he knows we’ve got a rule about that. And he’s got nothing to do so all he does is hang out playing Wii and checking his email. Also, he’s a slob. It’s driving Mrs. Jobs nuts. I told her, You know, the guy has never had to pick up after himself. Grew up with servants on some plantation, so all through his childhood he had people picking up after him. Same as an adult. Above is a photo of what he’s done to the living room in our guest house in just a few days.

He’s also doing damage to the main house. Example: He gets a pizza delivered, and just puts the cardboard box on the coffee table in our living room and eats out of the box, with no plate, spilling crumbs everywhere. He doesn’t eat the crusts, so they end up scattered on the table alongside his empty beer cans. Then when he’s done he just gets up and goes out to the guest house and goes to bed, leaving his mess in our living room for us to clean up. (Or actually for our house manager but whatever.) He doesn’t even shut off the TV. He also leaves the lights on all the time, which is kind of a pet peeve for me and Mrs. Jobs.

So just now the wife called me at work and gave me an ultimatum. The old “he goes or I go” thing. So I’m going to have to call him. I’m dreading it, seriously.