Jesus friggin Christ. We’ve gone almost three hundred days without freshness. I just had a meeting with the hardtards and went medieval on their asses. They gave me all sorts of pathetic excuses, including trying to blame the child workers in our Chinese factories, but I’m just not hearing it anymore. I spent an hour screaming at them and insulting their mothers and telling them why they suck and how they should never have been hired here and they’re stupid and I’ll make sure that they never work anywhere in the Valley ever again. Then I fired three of them and had them frog-marched out of the building and told the rest of them I’m going to fire one of them a week until the new machines are done.

Trust me, Apple faithful. You don’t want to see me when I’m angry. And right now El Jobso is in full Rambo mode. The new hardware will be here soon, I promise.