News flash: Goatberg is in the Valley

The bastard. Tells us he’s “too busy” to travel and then figures he can slip in without anyone noticing and get some big “software visionary” award [shurely shome mishtake?!] at Heidi Roizen’s house in Atherton last night. Worse yet, traitorberg was out there rubbing elbows and yukking it up with my old pals Dan’l Lewin and Mike Moritz. World-class reporter Tom Foremski writes it up here. Trip Hawkins got an award too and told a story about how one day when he was working at Apple I came to his office and asked him if he’d ever taken LSD (because, come on, the guy’s name is Trip, for Christ’s sake) and then I walked out when he said no. Ha ha, poor old working-class Steve didn’t know the WASP meaning of the name “Trip.” Funny, right? They all had a big laugh at my expense. Bigger news: According to Foremski, Kara Swisher announced that she’s gay. Who knew? Anyway, we’ve sent Katie Cotton and Steve Dowling out to find Goatberg, taser him, drug him, and bring him in for a hypno-briefing. Fingers crossed, Apple faithful!