This is what our PR spies are picking up on anyway, based on their supposedly casual chats with Walt. He’s being cryptic and evasive, as usual, but from reading between the lines they sense there’s a hatchet job coming. Partly it’s just that Goatberg wants to redeem himself and regain some semblance of integrity by finally saying something negative about an Apple product. Where better to do this than on the most overhyped product in world history?

For another thing apparently Goatberg is having trouble using his hooves on the touch screen keyboard and he’s suggesting we should have done a keyboard that shows up in landscape mode like this so we could make the buttons bigger. With anyone else we’d just shrug this off but Goatberg is too powerful to ignore. We’re trying to fly him in for a briefing, during which I’ll flatter him and lie to him about what’s going to be in version 2.0 and meanwhile attempt to re-hypnotize him and save the day. It’s a desperate move and I suspect he’s on to us. So far he’s hunkered down in his goat pen, insisting he’s “too busy” to travel. Quelle surprise as they say in Italian.