Forbes says Apple has jumped the shark, and I’m like, Hey, look who’s talking.

See painful video here. Gist is, we’ve sold 100 million iPods, so the game is over. We’re toast. Money quote from one of the Capitalist Tools: “The nature of cool is you can’t stay cool for that long. It’s been almost six years. They’re going to have to come up with something else.”

Well, I realize six years seems like a long time to be cool when, um, you’ve never been cool for a single minute in your entire life. But trust me, I’ve been cool for 52 years and I can stay cool for as long as I want. I was cool in high school. I was cool in college. Heck, folks, I was cool in the womb. (Though certain people failed to recognize that coolness, much to their lifelong chagrin, and believe me, they know exactly who they are — the two snobby academics who could have had a son worth $5 billion but they don’t, because they didn’t recognize his coolness. That’s right, you jerks. You’re the Pete Best of parents. Hope you enjoy living out your days in that cut-rate assisted living facility. What’s today? Thursday? I believe dinner is creamed chip beef on toast. Yum.)