Oh. My. God.

To quote from Conrad: “The horror! The horror!” (FYI, his “Leaves of Grass” was like my favorite book freshman year in college.) But back to the painting. I’ve seen some awful things in my day but this is just terrifying. Much love to the brilliant geniuses at Cult of Mac who posted an item about how this painting sold for $410 on Ebay. And yes, I know what you’re wondering — yes, the buyer was working as a front for me. No way was I going to let this thing out into the world. Children might see it, for God’s sake. Plus, it looks really cool in my home office, tucked in among all the other photos and paintings of me, and the big huge mirrors that let me watch myself while I’m working.