Okay so some guy at my kid’s soccer match snapped this photo of me using a prototype iPhone in public. Then my dear friends at the Cult of Mac blog republish the photo and break my stones for wearing the same clothes everywhere I go. Thanks, Mat Honan. One of these weeks let me follow you and Leander around with a camera and make fun of what you’re wearing, okay? And what is up your first name? Aren’t you missing a T there? And by the way, to address your concerns, the JobsWear outfit needs to be worn a certain number of days per year or else I lose the patent and trademark. Satisfied?

Worst of all is the Unofficial Apple Weblog which tries to suggest I was breaking the law by using a phone that hasn’t been approved by the FCC yet. Sheesh. Folks, I’ve been living outside the law since the Seventies, when Woz and I were making blue boxes for hacking the phone system. That rebellious, anti-establishment ethos is what Apple is all about. It’s who we are. I’m not afraid of the FCC. Now the SEC and the U.S. Attorney’s office, well, maybe. But let’s not get sidetracked.

But I would like to point something out. How’d you like it if every time you went to your kid’s soccer match you had weirdos stalking you and taking photos of you for their flickr pages? I’m telling you, the life of El Jobso is not always as insanely great as you might imagine. It’s like I’m living in the Truman Show. Or America’s Most Wanted or something.

Oh, one more thing. You’re wondering how well the phone works. Well, it’s amazing. The sound quality is like nothing you’ve ever heard. A few glitches with the screen but we’re killing one Chinese engineer a day until our supplier works them out. Peace.