I’m sure you have seen all the stories, like this one, about Intel losing some key emails related to its antitrust lawsuit with AMD. So I emailed my team and I’m like, Dudes, can’t we do this too? Seems like a really smart strategy. Sure they can bitch and moan all they want but if there’s no evidence there’s no evidence, right?

Naturally the lawyers jumped all over me saying of course you can’t do this. Then they pointed out that I’d only made things worse by putting this suggestion itself in an email, which now also cannot be destroyed and will have to be produced and handed over to investigators. I’m like, Seriously? Can’t we just wipe it out? Look, like this. I just wiped it out. Okay? Who’s to know?

Well I guess this is why they don’t let me run the legal department around here. All I can say is, as much as you freetards think Microsoft is the pure incarnation of Satan himself, you have no idea — Intel makes those punks up in Redmond look like choir boys.