My Little Pony warns me off Linux

So I was all ready to order up the iTunes on Linux initiative but then I got a call from Jon Schwartz. Says he read my blog and he’s like, Dude, you’re asleep at the switch. Linux is over, man. Linux is like 2003 or something. Haven’t you heard? There’s this new GPLv3 coming out and Linux won’t embrace it. But we are gonna use it. So now all the Linux freaks are moving to OpenSolaris. Dude you gotta start reading the message boards and Slashdot and stuff. We’re totally taking over.

Linux is done. Novell made a deal with Microsoft; done. Red Hat forces you to pay through the nose; done. Ubuntu just made a deal with Linspire, and they’re shipping closed binary blobs; done. OSDL just shut down and “merged” (read: disappeared) with some other group. IBM’s pulling back on the money. Stallman and Moglen are doing everything they can to kill Linux in its crib. Torvalds is job-hunting and will probably end up at Google. Even Google, which is the world’s biggest Linux user, is starting to migrate off. The revolution is over, baby.

Or rather, it’s moving to the counter-revolution phase. You know how that always happens? Did you study the French Revolution in college? Oh, that’s right. Anyway, every revolution ends up spawning a counter-revolution. That’s when things get ugly and they drag out the guillotines. Read anything nice about Torvalds on Slashdot lately? That’s what I’m talking about. One of these days old Linus is gonna have to dress in servants’ clothes and sneak out of Oregon in the middle of the night.

And who rules in the Brave New World? Yours truly. The Sun King, dude. So, um, I wouldn’t worry about iTunes for Linux. Now, iTunes for Solaris? That makes sense.