Another delay in the iPhone

Well the engineers want to kill me but you know what, I know how to design products. And I’m sorry, this circuit board for the iPhone is just way too friggin ugly. There’s no balance. You’ve got this long skinny piece on the left and then nothing on the right to balance it out. And the big chip should be right in the middle, not off center. And the two little gold pieces on the right should be lined up straight. I mean there’s a million problems with this design. Just look at it. You’ve got all these little skinny lines on one side then big fat lines on the other, with loads of space. WTF? So I told them go back and redo it. I want it perfectly symmetrical. They’re like, Steve, nobody is gonna see the circuit board. I’m like, Yes, but I’ll know it’s in there, and that will ruin it for me. They’re like, Steve, it’s not just about looks, because the thing won’t work right if we move the chips the way you want them. I’m like, You know what, try it. Just do it and let’s see. They’re like, Dude, with all due respect, we’re electrical engineers, okay? We know what we’re talking about. One guy goes to the white board and starts trying to give me a lesson in how electric current flows through a circuit. I’m standing there, just shaking with rage, and I’m like, Excuse me, but please put down that marker and then go to your desk and fire yourself. Okay? Thank you. No, I’m serious.

After he left the other guys told me he was the lead engineer on the project. Oh well. Too bad. Guess you’ll all have to work that much harder now eh?

Folks, this is probably the single most important product we’ve ever made. This is going to define the new Apple. This thing has to be like a Porsche. Or a really well-made Swiss watch. I want it to be perfect. Inside and out.