Norway: This is war

What kind of country has an “ombudsman” anyway? Well, Norway does. And here he is. Bjoern Erik Thon. And he says if we don’t “open up” iTunes, Norway will take us to court. Okay, Norway. You want to play hardball? Tell you what. Saddle up the reindeer, strap some body armor over your queer-ass Dale sweaters, wrap your pretentious scarf tight around your chicken neck, and meet us on the field of battle. Or how about this? How about we just stop selling iPods in Norway? And we block anyone in Norway from getting access to iTunes? And we tell everyone there that Bjoern Erik Thon is the reason for this, and here’s his home address and phone number, so go see him if you don’t like it. Or even better: How about I run for president of Norway, win in a landslide, fire Bjoern Erik Thon, and pass a law outlawing Microsoft and making Apple products the only ones allowed in Norway?

Jesus H. Christ. Like I don’t have enough to worry about already, what with the feds trying to throw me in the slammer, and Jerry York yelling at me with his dog breath, and the gay longhairs still threatening to picket. Now we’ve got the Scandinavians up in arms. Friggin elves.