Sure, my job is real safe

Jeez. If I see another one of these frigtarded stories about how my job is so safe, like this one on Reuters, I am just gonna friggin scream. Safe? My job is safe? Do you realize how un-safe a CEO’s job is even when things are going well? Have you not read Shakespeare? There is always — always — someone plotting to kill the king. And crap like this options business just gives those backstabbers more to work with. Oh yeah, I know. Apple can’t exist without Jobso. You know that and I know that. But tell that to the saps who’d love to take the place over, and who believe, deep in their souls, that they could do a way better job than I’ve done. Oh, it’s a dark night of the soul for the Jobsmeister, believe me. Heidi Roizen is calling me every hour, pretending she just wants to be supportive. Guy Kawasaki keeps leaving me voice mail and sounding like a vampire who just caught a whiff of an open cut somewhere in the vicinity. Bastards!