The real gating factor: Power

You may notice a piece in this a.m.’s Journal about a new private equity fund gathering up a few billion bucks to invest in power plants. You may not have noticed this story from last month about Mr. Bill getting into the energy business too. That one got mostly overlooked but trust me, Squirrel Boy noticed it. And he’s freaking out. Why? Cause the real plan over at Google ain’t about selling advertising or letting frigtards search for porn more efficiently. The real plan is to build a global data center, or rather a string of data centers all connected to form one giant supercomputer that circles the globe. Guess what that friggin thing runs on? It ain’t yogurt and carrot sticks, bub. It’s electricity. That’s why they’re building all their new data centers next to power plants. But guess what the money dudes have figured out? If you project out a few years and look at how much power these humongous data centers are gonna need, well, there isn’t enough in all the world. Not nearly enough. So guess who’s gonna really be in the driver’s seat a decade from now? Right. The dudes who own the electricity. Which is why Mr. Bill, while making all this surface noise about Office Live and competing with Google in search, is doing his real fighting under the surface, by quietly getting a choke hold on the power grid. You wait and see. That’s the huge, colossal battle that is going to get played out a decade from now. Just raw power. Nothing sexy or techie about it. Now imagine a next-generation Enron springing up out of nowhere, only it’s run by Mr. Bill. Yeah. Armafriggingeddon.

That’s why Squirrel Boy is leaving skidmarks in his underpants. Everybody else is going up the stack, Mr. Bill is going down the stack to the electrical grid. This is also why the Satanic wizards of the venture business (read: John Doerr) are getting boners for energy-related startups. Sure, they dress these things up as “green” funds, and sure, maybe they’ll do some ecofriendly stuff, if only so they can get some good press from the frigtards at the New York Times and some subsidies from Al Gore or whatever other global warming freak happens to inherit the White House in 2008. But trust me. These guys don’t give a crap about putting cute little solar panels on your house. The real green is gonna be made by selling technology to the conventional power plant industry. Or, at the other end of the value chain, better batteries that can hold more of the juice that gets cranked of those bigger, better power plants. Or both. The ultimate irony is that these pious “greenies” are gonna make their next batch of billions by helping power plants crank out MORE energy, not less. A decade from now we’ll have doubled our power consumption. And those “do no evil” Google guys will be largely responsible for this. Why do you think we’re all kissing Al Gore’s ass so fiercely out here? We want him to keep focusing on those big, bad oil companies. Riiiight.

Anyhoo. Squirrel Boy is actually considering using some of his phony baloney billions to get into the power game himself. That’s what he tells me, anyway.