Caption winners

Wow. Friggin amazing. 58 entries this week. That’s a new record. I am starting to get the feeling that some readers of this blog don’t have the warmest feelings for the MicroTards, and perhaps even enjoy making jokes at their expense. Well there were so many good ones that really it’s almost pointless to give awards but here are some that the whole staff at FSJ Central found enjoyable. Your fake prizes are in the mail.


“and then Bill pulled it out and it was brown and about this big. I just about squirted with joy!”

The unity, the wholeness;
MicroSoft Zune sucks;
The Emptiness, the 0

Take a rough wooden post about this big and ram it up your butt. That’s the kind of user experience Vista will give you!

Steve Silverman
At the Zune launch in New York, Microsoft’s president Steve Ballmer gave reporters an idea of the maximum brain size allowed to work on the Zune team. “Squirrel brains are pretty much the standard, especially in our marketing division”.


Steve Ballmer
Of which mater alma?
Harvard, of course!
Where he blew a horse.


That dirty Steve Balmer,
An experienced hairy palmer,
Boasting the bore of his ass,
He will never feel the touch of a lass.

This is how big it is after we’ve, ahem, “partnered” with you.

“…and thats about how big Novell’s ass is going to look like once we get done bending them over.”

Steve Ballmer
who instead of saying “Val Kilmer” said always “Kil Valmer”
should be in jail because
not only he sells Windows,
but also ’cause he’s the one who killed Laura Palmer.

[Ed. note, this got props just for the reference to Twin Peaks. Molodets, Mikolaj.]

Sartre from the Grave
William H. Gates
hires men with bald pates
to deaf-sign the ballad
of tossing Bill’s salad