Larry says I’m crazy, but you know what? I’m totally falling for this Bike Helmet Girl. Larry says it’s just some midlife crisis kind of thing. But I dunno. Feels real to me. I’ve got to talk to my spiritual advisor about it. Meanwhile I just got this email (see below) from Bike Helmet Girl, whose real name happens to be Tiffany. She’s totally cool, has a great sense of humor, and she’s some kind of dancer or performance artist. Best of all, if you’re in the Bay Area, you can see her perform live on Nov. 16. Tiffany, stop doing this to me. You’re making an old man crazy. I mean it, girl. Daddy’s gonna have to spank you. And you wouldn’t want that. Or would you?

Dear Mr. FS Jobs,

It has been a while since we last corresponded, but I wanted to let you know that I have not forgotten about the promised macbook pro. I am more or less settled in San Francisco now, but feel a bit awkward giving you my mailing address, as we have never been formally introduced. Instead, I would rather invite you to an upcoming event. Besides, I think you would prefer seeing me and my fellow artists live as opposed to on somebody’s flickr site…

I have made tremendous progress with respect to my aforementioned condition and continue perform on a rather consistent basis. While I am no longer in need of wearing a bike helmet during daylight hours, I occasionally don a headlamp at night to ensure that I remain aware of my surroundings in the event that I experience an episode. It’s not so bad, but I look forward to making further progress and achieving a full recovery. Fortunately, it has been incorporated into our next performance event so I do not appear to be such an anomaly.

On Thursday, November 16th, DOUBLE VISION is hosting a benefit at DragonBar in North Beach, San Francisco from 6-8pm. Link here.

The event features free food, drinks, chair massage, silent auction items, dance, video and music. A fair number of yelpers (or yelpsters as you prefer to call them) will be in attendance among our other guests. I do hope you can make it, as it would be a pleasure to finally meet you.

peace,
Tiffany
(aka Karen, aka Tiffany)

Dudes– and Tiffany — all I can say is that I will DEFINITELY be there. But you may not recognize me, since I usually go out in some kind of disguise. Otherwise I’m swamped by groupies. Basically I’m like a white Flavor Flav. Yeah. It’s like dat y’all. But Tiffany, you’ll know who I am. I promise. I’ll be the soft-spoken gentleman with the roses and the MacBook Pro for you. All I ask is that you be kind to me, my sweetheart. Be gentle with an old man’s heart. Namaste. I bow to you. Peace out.

PS I also want to give a big photo credit and huge shout-out to my main man, amateur pornographer Mitchell Aidelbaum. No doubt Maximum Mitch will be at the DOUBLE VISION event, so dudes, buy the guy a beer. He’s riding high these days ever since the Hustler guys flew him down to L.A. to shoot some test pix for Barely Legal. Couldn’t be happier for you, Mitchell Aidelbaum.