Uncle Fetya wants a Batmobile

So Sergey calls me and he’s like, Dude, do you know any of these guys who make custom cars, like the guys who make those hotrods for ZZ Top or whatever? Cause here’s why. Uncle Fetya’s been watching these old Batman reruns, the TV show version with Adam West, and he says he wants a Batmobile like the original one for him to drive around in out here. I think he even wants to get costumes for the two of us; not sure.

So I tell him I can put him in touch with Jon Ive who has all these freaky design friends and can probably hook him up. And I go, But Sergey, it’s probably gonna cost a fortune, you realize that, right? He goes, Hey, who do you think I am? Bono? Ha! I read your blog, Steve. Love it, man. Good stuff. You missed your calling, man, I’m not even joking. Do some more stuff about Squirrel Boy, we all love those; and maybe something about Larry’s teeth. Poor bastard. Anyway, yeah, my dude, I don’t care what the car costs. Poor old Uncle Fetya. Guy comes from Krasnodar. Ever heard of it, Steve? Trust me, after what he’s been through, Uncle Fetya can have twenty friggin Batmobiles. I bought him the house next door to me. Cost me a fortune to get the neighbor to move out. Oh well. I’m paying a pair of Japanese hookers to live with him too. We write them up as nannies, pay them salaries and benefits. Who cares? While we’re sitting here talking I’m looking down at my desk and our stock just went up 30 cents, which means I just made fourteen million bucks. Life is good, Steve. Anyway, thanks for the hookup on the Batmobile. Gotta run.