Meg Whitman to appear on TLC’s "What Not to Wear"

I’m kidding. But she should, right? I mean what is up with this lady? She’s got plenty of money. Can’t she do something? Talk about Woman on the Verge of a Much-Needed Makover. Heck, I’ve offered to send over one of my stylists to work with her. I was like, Meg, honey, I love you, but those man suits? What up with that? And what is this big love affair with denim shirts? And the high waist pants and the friggin loafers? You dress like a friggin phys ed coach from Ohio. You go any more butch and people are going to start thinking you’re dipping your bucket in the mossy well, if you know what I mean. I mean, if you’re gonna be a celebrity CEO, you gotta have a look. Like me. Black turtleneck and jeans. Easy. But classy. Also patented, so don’t even think about it.

Anyway, the Megalomaniac won’t listen. Too busy helping frigtards buy and sell their old used crap over the Internet, I guess. Total shame.