Caption winners

Well once again it was a long night at FSJ Central as the entire staff of researchers and writers struggled to agree on caption winners. But here we go:

And on the eighth day God said: “Aw, screw it. I’m gonna stick you with this douchebag.”

W: Yes Helen, I agree. This does look like Steve Jobs back in ’77.

gw: Phew… is it getting warm in here?
Jesus: Get used to it.

Operative C
Jesus to apostle: “See, it’s pretty much the biggest game of Sims ever. There are like a billion of them, and I can fuck with ’em however I want. Like look at this guy I made their leader. He’s pretty much retarded, which is awesome, because half of them are retarded too and follow him around, and the other half are all pissed off but can’t do anything about it because I rig all the elections. Oh, hey, did I show you the roller coaster I’m making…”