True story. I was eating dinner at Masa’s on Nob Hill with Michael Ovitz — this is several years ago — and we start noticing that the waiters are all taking turns hitting our table, and each one is doing some little shtick about the specials, or the wine, or the dessert list, all trying to get as much face time as possible, and repeating his name. One of them goes further and just blurts out that he’s in a show at some theater in SoMa or something and why don’t we come see it? Basically, they’re auditioning. And it was just excruciating. Finally Ovitz says to me: You know what this city is? It’s all the people who failed their auditions in L.A.

Mean? Yes. But true, I think.