And he’s all pumped and psyched, saying, We got em! We got em! He’s like the idiot at the auction who gets bumped and bumped by a team of shills and ends up paying a million bucks for a painting of dogs playing poker. Honestly, Google just has way too much money and is throwing it around like sailors on shore leave. Then again, if they pay in Google stock they’re not really playing with real money anyway. Especially since shares went up like nine bucks on Friday after Schmidt leaked that they were in talks with YouTube. In other words, the market said, What’s that Squirrel Boy? You want to buy a profitless easy replicated video Website? Well, sure, Eric, here’s your money, go for it! Old Eric ain’t as dumb as he is ugly.

You know what they call money around Google? They call it GoogleBux. Like: Sure I paid too much. But I paid with GoogleBux. That’s like 10x the value of real money. So who cares? True story (or maybe this is an urban myth going around the Valley): A certain GoogleNerd walked into a Mercedes dealership to buy a new S-Class sedan, and offered twenty-five grand above MSRP in order to avoid any “bidding wars.” Salestard, stunned at first, quickly recovered and wrote up the paperwork.