Re: the Apple-Sun merger

Lot of people writing in to ask what happened to the big merger. Those of you who are hardcore Apple watchers will recall that 10 years ago Sun was supposed to buy us. This was back when we were really hurting and almost going out of business. Scott made all sorts of promises and then the night before we were going to close the deal he canceled — just left us standing at the altar. So we’ve been waiting for some payback, and now we’ve got it. Monday night we rented a suite at the Four Seasons in Palo Alto and had him wait there. Meeting was set for 9 and we were going to sign the papers. Then I just hung out in the Jobs Pod and kept having people call telling him I’m running late. Meanwhile we’ve got his suite bugged, which affords us the enormous treat of watching him get more and more pissed off as the hours roll by. Finally it gets to be one in the morning and I’m still supposedly running late, can’t get there for another hour. So here’s the treat. He slams down the phone, then orders up some in-room porn and does what people do with in-room porn. We wait till he’s done and then I call and go, Hey, you know, Scott, I’ve been looking at the financials again, and we just think this isn’t going to work. I’m sorry. Of course he starts screaming and calling me a loser. I’m like, Hello, I’m a loser? Who’s sitting there spanking his monkey in a hotel room? And hey, a little word of advice? I’d throw out that Sears blazer. Yeah. Check it out. You got some man gravy on it. Peace out, schmuck.