Along with the offers to “date singles with STDs.” Er, generous offer, but I’m gonna hold off for now. Google is seriously amazing. Or frightening, depending on your point of view. Only hours after posting this and then this the ads for genital wart cures, vaginal speculums, Pap smears and cervical dysplasia are rolling in, taking turns with the Satan ringtones and Satanic screensavers. Whew! Nick Carr, are you paying attention? Anyhoo, since nobody clicks on the damn things we might as well have fun screwing around with them. So dudes, let’s go for broke. I almost don’t dare to do this. But I’m gonna. It’s how the Jobsmeister rolls. That’s right, I’m going nuclear.

Have you heard about asbestos? Apparently, if you get exposed to asbestos, or if there’s asbestos in your insulation or asbestos in your pipes, you can get something called mesothelioma, which is a kind of cancer from asbestos, which gives you mesothelioma. And, um, apparently there are quite a few gurney-chasing dirtbag lawyers who specialize in mesothelioma patients and fight like rats in a bag for the chance to buy online ads about cancer, mesothelioma, asbestos, and such things. Also, lead paint. And asbestos. And genital warts. Those can give you cancer too. But not mesothelioma, I don’t think. Oh well. That should do it.

Raise shields, Mr. Sulu! Attack of the dirtbag lawyers to commence shortly!