What a long strange trip it’s been

Wild stuff happening here. I’ve been up all night with my spiritual guide doing some intense soul journeying and past life regression work. Jennie does a kind of guided trip using a combination of peyote and amyl nitrite. First thing she did was ask me what’s this horrible music playing, and I said it’s Lothar and the Hand People, it’s awesome with psychedelics and what’s more amazing is that all this rich, full sound is coming from a $349 iPod HiFi which blows away high-end stereos costing ten times as much. She goes, Nope, no way, throw it out, and we sit there in silence in the lotus position, and I’m like, Cool, I love tripping in silence, you can hear the walls breathing, excellent.

Jennie does not use peyote herself. But she does her work in a trance state. She waited until I was getting off, like when colors started to get vivid, and then she went under. She goes into this character called Sethram, with this freako deep voice. For like nine hours straight, without a break, she held my wrists between her thumbs and forefingers and just read me. Weird voices coming out of her, my past selves speaking. I was awake the whole time and just watching her. She was just gone. Eyes closed. Like on a different plane.

Then just after dawn something happened. She was reading my present life, telling me all this stuff that nobody could know, and then suddenly she became very still. And very cold. I could feel the energy drop. She began to vibrate, almost imperceptibly at first, then stronger and stronger, until she was shaking so violently I thought maybe she was having a seizure. Her eyes popped open and she said, Oh God, oh God, and she was back in her normal voice, her Jennie voice. Her eyes were like bugging out wide as saucers, looking right at me.

She says, You don’t know, do you. You don’t, right? I’m like, Jennie, what the frig? She leaps up, shaking, I mean like she’s friggin terrified, and starts backing away from me toward the door. She says, I have to leave. I’m sorry. I’ll come back. Tomorrow, okay? I can’t handle this right now. There’s someone I need to see. I’m sorry. I have to go. I’m sorry. I can’t stay here.

That was like two hours ago and I haven’t heard from her. Meanwhile, we’ve got an executive committee meeting in half an hour, and I’m still tripping my ass off on the peyote. Got some Lothar playing in the background. Ow! Good times.