Look at this dude. I guess he works at Yelp, and he really thinks he’s the shit, doesn’t he? What with two skanks hanging on him. Um, not to be rude, but … like what the frig is wrong with that girl? And don’t play dumb. You know exactly which one I’m talking about. Big Mama Gummy Bear. Dude, back in the day we didn’t even let girls like this come through the door at our parties, let alone pose for friggin pictures with them. I mean, I was going out with women like Diane Keaton and Joan Baez. Even Woz had some standards. Meanwhile big hotshot Neil K. is trying to work a three-way with Rocky and Bullwinkle. Whew. This picture has been zipping around Apple and Pixar all day on email. People are doing terrible things with Photoshop. Just wrong, I know. But whatever. Neil K., have no fear, because soon this bad dream will be over and you will be back waiting tables in the Mission. I promise. Peace.

(The above photograph was taken by Mitchell Aidelbaum and distributed under a Creative Commons license. Here is Mitchell Aidelbaum‘s flickr account page. FSJ thanks Mitchell Aidelbaum for his fine work. When this item first was posted it did not include attribution for Mitchell Aidelbaum. FSJ regrets the error.)