Monday, September 21, 2009

Huffington Post is stealing my ideas

I’ve known Arianna for a long time. I first met her when she was a left-wing pseudo-progressive striver who latched onto Jerry Brown as a way to advance her own career, which came right before her phase as a right-wing crypto-fascist striver married to a closeted gay millionaire senator as a way to advance her career, which was just before she transformed herself back into a left-wing pseudo-progressive striver latching on to anyone in the Democratic party who would talk to her in order to advance her career. And I’ve always respected her, if only because she’s so obviously and nakedly interested only in herself and only in power and she will say and do anything to claw her way into it. Republican? Democrat? Who gives a shit? They’re just labels, and it’s all marketing, and at the end of the day what matters is whether you can make other people do what you tell them to do. I respect that. Anyhoo. Arianna calls me up and she’s like, Darling, we’ve come up with this fantaaastic idea that we’re calling, “technology is anthropology,” and we’re getting all these fantaaastic people to blog for us, and we thought, my goodness, if we’re going to have someone talking about technology and anthropology why not my good friend Steve Jobs, you know? Why not get it straight from le bouche de cheval, am I right? Because if we can’t get you we’ll have to go get someone from Microsoft and I just find those people so dreary, you know?

I was like, Arianna, don’t start speaking Greek at me or I’m hanging up right now, and don’t start making threats about the Borg, either, or I swear to God I’ll buy your stupid Web site and shut it down. I’ll write you something. If any of you are interested, you can go to HuffPo and read what I wrote. Or you can just scroll up and read it here on my own incredibly attractive Blogger blog.