Obama: All of Gawker must go to prison

He called last night and he’s like, Hey, is there anything I can do? Can we maybe find a way to turn this into a federal crime? Maybe a hate crime thing? Or domestic terrorism? We could put some people in Gitmo and hold them without charges.

I was like, Dude, I thought we’re not doing that anymore. He goes, Uh, nope. We’re still doing that. I said, But wait, didn’t you say during the campaign — and he goes, Yeah, look, let it go, and how about we just rendition them to Cairo and let someone else take care of it, because frankly I’ve always wanted to see Nick Denton with a black bag over his head.

I told him I’d think about it. Enjoy the publicity for now, Nick Denton. You won’t be laughing for long.