iPad rules of engagement

Tomorrow morning is when the iPad goes on sale at Apple Stores and some Best Buys. Can’t say how to deal with Best Buy, but there are some ground rules when you go to the Apple Store for your iPad. Print these out and carry them along.

*If Woz wants to cut in line at Valley Fair in Santa Clara, at least make him pay for his spot. He can afford it.

*Make sure to thank your Apple Store employee for allowing you the privilege of buying an iPad. ¬†He/She doesn’t have to, you know.

*Show a little humility. ¬†It won’t get you a discount- they might charge you more. But humble is how El Jobso rolls.

*Don’t go in wearing a black turtleneck, jeans, and New Balance 993′s. ¬†Only one guy can pull it off- and you’re not him.

*Please provide a written statement in 30 words or less stating why you’re worthy to buy an iPad. References encouraged, and will be verified.

*If eligible, buy as many iPads as you can. ¬†Steve needs your money, even though it’s not about money- it’s about the art.

*Once you take possession of your iPad, don’t be like this. ¬†Be quiet, reverant, and respectful. Bow in the direction of Cupertino. Show some class. ¬†This is an Apple Store you’re in. I mean, would you act like Scoble in church? ¬†Didn’t think so.

*You’ll have to drink some Kool-Aid. ¬†It’s no big deal- it’s SOP with all Apple gear.

*Leave the Apple Store only once you’ve purchased as many Apple products as possible. ¬†Maybe an iPhone or iPod to go with that iPad, sir?