This Japanese architect dude designed this house.  Looks very Apple-ish, eh? He’s got nine cars.  They’re underneath the house.  And they rise on an elevator into his living room.  There’s his Lambo lurking just below ground. Can I just get some frickin’ sharks with laser beams on their heads, too?

TechCrunch’s Michael Arrington is never one to hide his opinions. Here’s one I hadn’t heard:

Fake Steve Jobs blog likely to shut down

Really?  I didn’t get the memo. But wait, as they say on TV- there’s more.

Apparently the (iCON)show will have an online component – a blog or website or both – and there’s some fear that the Fake Steve blog will confuse people.

So Michael, tell me.  Where does this leave me?  I gotta write about Microsoft stuff now? Send me an email.

Update: Valleywag adds absolutely nothing new here.

The ever munchable Sarah Lacy

I will snare Linguini, one day, then I won't have to entertain all you backpimpled wheeze-jocks!

reports from TechCrunch that Elevation Partners is far from going belly up, despite Palm hovering at the $4 a share mark. The savvier members of the team put together a whole bunch of financial instruments that would save Elevation’s bacon even if Palm’s value dropped, which, lo and behold, it did! As it is Elevation is actually breaking even on its Palm investment, which is a lot better than other investors did in the past twelve months. But what really saved its ass was Elevation’s secondary market purchase into Facebook at $30 a share. It doesn’t hurt that Facebook and Elevation Partners were already very cozy with each other personally as well as business-wise, either. Good job, Lacy!

Ayehm naught az daft az Aye fookin' luke, ya' pigeonbreathed alley cat!

I suppose Bono can reapply that smirk on his face and get back to his job of being a smug self centered righteous twit going on about debt forgiveness and global warming and cupping Al Gore’s testicles.

As faithful readers may have noticed, El Jobso is writing a new series on premium cable. Sure, it’s not as easy as it sounds but the freedom is incredible, you just have to be careful the sleazy lawyers don’t trick you into signing away your soul. For those ee-dee-aughts who complain why isn’t this meisterwerk going to be on free commercial network television, we’ll let Seth McFarland and the gang show you why:

This is going to disappear after five weeks so don’t complain to me if you can’t find this post afterwards, complain to Hulu, Fox or download it from iTunes you cheap basterds!

The Wall Street Journal (Extra! Extra! Only $17.99 a month subscription on the iPad! Extra!) reports Apple is working on two new iPhones for release probably at end of this year, a 4th generation for AT&T and another that uses CDMA card not unlike Verizon or Sprint. How about movin’ on up to 4G already? Or here’s a crazy idea. Instead of buying Adobe, which so many bloggers, fanbois and tech writers say would be a perfect fit for Apple – why not buy a wireless network? Have everything under one freakin’ roof. If you’re gonna’ have a superior walled off garden experience, you might as well have it all under one roof. while it makes sense to still have an “outsider” provide the wireless service, so if anything goes wrong, you can blame it on the network, not the phone (or the iPad). OTOH, if you own and operate the network, you can make sure everything acts seamlessly with each other, one big smooth invisible operation.

imagine these two entities as ... ONE?

Can some Photoshopper or GIMP genius combine these two images, perhaps Apple should buy the Death Star and give Randall Stephenson a golden parachute?

Yahoo says they will be adding this feature to Yahoo Mail starting today. (Time for a mini-rant.  I have used an AT&T/Yahoo DSL co-branded email account. These new features that roll out never make it there. Ever.  It’s said this: “We’re still tweaking the Yahoo! Mail Filters option. Temporarily you’ll need to access it through the Yahoo! Mail Classic interface. But, rest assured, any changes made will take effect once you’ve reloaded the Yahoo! Mail” for years.  Years!  I got fed up with the lack of innovation and moved everything to Gmail.)

Ah ha, only kidding. From the same folks who brought you BSD, they now bring you the skinniest most hairlike transistor radio in history, made out of single carbon nanotube. Mad scientist, super genius and roadrunner expert, “Wile E.” Alex Zettl completed and demonstrated his creation, by broadcasting and receiving Derek & The Dominoes classic “Layla”

still used by most listeners of right wing talk radio, tea party advocates and potential Obama assassins today - isn't that sumptin'?

Well, that was just … awful. I get better reception on my AM crystal radio set from Radio Shack.

Silicon Alley Insider says that Bing was almost named Bang.  Bing was probably a better choice. As the story mentions: “Most people don’t want to say they ‘banged Obama’s dog‘ when they look for Bo Obama on the Internet.”(Disclaimer: that link is the first time I’ve ever used Bing. As a confirmed Googler, I feel….unclean. Must cleanse keyboard.)

WSJ indicates a new iPhone is on the way this summer, and another model made for Verizon. Engadget has more.