Mossberg reviews new sexy ThinkPads

Yeah, I know, he’s not half as funny or interesting as Mosspuppet, but I am a great fan of ThinkPad line, even if they are owned and operated by Commies, nowadays. Think about that, ten years ago, ThinkPads were made by Big Blue, now they’re made by Big Red. It’s make me wonder, how come these commies can make one of the best damn reliable laptops (as long you get rid of the Indowsway and replace it with Inuxlay) in the known universe but can’t make safe reliable toothpaste, costume jewelry, baby formula or children’s toys? It’s not rocket science, you know – by the way, howzat Moon mission coming along, fellas? I’m actually concerned cause China is the one country that would seriously colonize, exploit and annex the Moon, and fuck that UN treaty for using The Moon for peaceful purposes, they’d turn it into nuke launcher central. I love their laptops, but seriously, we have to keep our hands in the space race, folks, we can’t let them Commies take the Moon away from us, what are we gonna’ use to defend it from the commies, MIT robots designed by Cringely fanbois? I don’t think so. C’mon Barry, don’t let the damn Chinese who hold our debts over our heads like the sword of Damocles dictate our space program. Back to The Moon. We need to plant another flag. And a few bases, while we’re at it.

... and if you act now, I'll thrown in The Brooklyn Bridge!