Don’t know if you’ve been following the little drama that’s unfolding for my very good friend Dr. Eric Schmidt, aka Dr. Strangelove. A few days ago the first-rate journalists at Valleywag uncovered a blog called Recovery Girl 007 which they claimed was being penned anonymously by an ex-journalist named Kate Bohner who also, supposedly, once had some kind of Tiger Woodsian connection to Dr. Eric Schmidt. On this blog Kate Bohner (real name? Ed.) referred to an ex-lover called Dr. Strangelove. This doctor was supposed to be friendly with Steve Jobs — so close, in fact, that he had shown Recovery Girl an early prototype of the iPhone, before it was released. Recovery Girl also described me as “just a stoned Jesuit priest lost in his garden.”

Now Valleywag reports that Dr. Strangelove has unleashed the fury of his lawyers on Ms. Bohner and forced her to take down her really wonderful site which described her journey through recovery from addiction to drugs. Valleywag points out, correctly, that this seems a bit hypocritical considering the way Eric is always going around touting the virtues of having all information flowing freely everywhere.

On that last point — whatever. The real glee for us is just seeing Dr. Strangelove getting his tit caught in a wringer. Moshe has reached out to Kate Bohner with an offer of support. We’ll pay her legal fees so she can fight off Dr. Strangelove and put her blog back up. We’ll also help her get an agent and find a publisher for the book she wants to write in which she’ll dish on Dr. Strangelove. I mean it. We’re here for you, Ms. Bohner.

Meanwhile, a few questions. Strangelove? As in, he’s into strange shit? What exactly would that be? I must admit I don’t spend lots of time thinking about Eric in bed. What does he do? Make them stand naked in front of him and tell him their Social Security numbers?

Also, what is up with all the bimbo eruptions in the Valley lately? First there was Chuck Phillips and his spurned shemale lover taking out billboards to advertise their romance. Now this?

Also, to both of you guys, I mean I hate to be a dick but fucking Woz gets hotter chicks than you guys do. I mean, Kate Bohner was once a very hot looking woman. Like this:

But now she looks like this:

And this. And this. Seriousy, Eric. You’re a billionaire, you run one of the world’s most powerful tech companies, and this is what you’re hitting on the side? And she’s got some issues with the Bolivian marching powder?

Just for the record, have you seen the women that Bill Clinton and Ron Burkle and Larry Ellison hang out with? They’re dating supermodels. Okay? Meanwhile Eric is down there playing in the minor leagues. I love it.

People give me shit because I live like a monk and don’t like having other people touch me. But you know what? At least I don’t have some recovering coke addict wanting to tell the whole world what I look like naked. (Although, for the record, the answer is: Awesome.)

Anyway, the peace of Buddha be upon you, Kate Bohner. Call me. I want to help.