For those who haven’t heard of this new thing the feminaniacs are doin’ for themselves, Jen-Lo-Hewitt buzzed the world about her new vajazzling experience, which when I first heard, I thought was something like a bidet experience. Apparently that’s not the case, but I’m not that much into water sports, anyway. What it is, the feminaniac goes to this place where they wax the pubes off the vag, right, wait for it, then glue little fake jewels, where the pubes used to be and – voila – va-jazzled! You know there’s some guys that are going to try this themselves, seriously, I mean, c’mon, not My Little Pony, whoof, I may have gagged a little in the mouth, ‘scuse me there, gulp, I ‘m talkin’ some guy firmly in touch with his manhood, you know, I’m talkin’ Larry, you betcha’ I am. He could pull this off. And it wouldn’t be on just his pubes. He’d go for the full body, he’d glint, he’d have tiny bits embedded in his beard and ear and nostril hair. A glinty bejewelled Larry Ellison would dominate and awe-inspire just about everyone everywhere. And then that douchebag Marc Benioff would try to ape Larry
and it would be the anti-awesome, it would be total douche failure. Benioff would look like some retard Maori who wouldn’t suck it up and get the tatoo and look like Elton John instead. We’d all point and laugh. By that time, I think Larry would be into total war paint – cos he’s Larry Ellison, but we’ll save that for another post.