Seth McFarlane Wants To Kill … Somebody

Seth McFarlane is angry. I mean this guy is pissed. I’ve seen John Kricfalusi tear the heads off first year interns, swallow ‘em whole and poop ‘em out his Canadian ass for his dogs to eat later to ease their digestion, but Seth has the anger of a hundred million Doctor Robert Bruce Banners turning into a single bitter righteous Hulk. I thought it’d be a gas attending a recording session for American Dad, but things ain’t goin’ well. Seems his mind is pre-occupied. “It’s that goddamn Windows 7 deal,” Seth snarls between takes, ” they were supposed to sponsor just one fuckin’ live action comedy show, but those weaselly cunt lawyers got Microsoft to back out when the politically correct moms and faggots caused Ballmer to back down like a useless dickless mangy alley cat, but Fox’s lawyers wanted that friggin’ Microsoft money, and found a clause that forced them to sponsor the equivalent amount spread out over Family Guy, American Dad and The Cleveland Show episodes for next twelve months. I mean having Windows 7 sponsor one episode was supposed to be a joke, we hate using the stuff, it’s just plain awful, look around, what do you see? Apple, Apple, Apple, Apple, Lenovo, Dell, H-P, okay those aren’t running Microsoft those three, I think it’s something called Len-noox, but the point is, that stuff works well, doesn’t crash and it is easy enough for even a moron like me to figure out. I feel like a traitor. And every week, I have to cobble together another Brian and Stewie joke about how great it is to use Windows 7 which is so unfucking funny, I wanna’ set off a nuclear device from the top of Mount Rushmore and swallow live children whole with butter and piss in puppies’ mouths … I wanna’ join Al-Qaida ….. AAAAARRRRGGGHHH!!!” He storms out of the studio, tearing the door off its hinges and shoving it through the plate glass window of the studio where the recording engineers are cowering down. The director of the session is smiling throughout for he is telecommuting via a Mac from Colorado and is not here, not in the presence of the Mad Man from Nantucket. I’m hiding underneath the engineers’ recording deck, sighing and feeling mighty unhappy, too.

Yes, Seth McFarlane ain’t happy at all. Instead of leaving you with a real crappy Family Guy Windows 7 commercial, how about a clip from last night’s episode featuring Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson?