Back online, again! Modem got fried.

And what do I find? PETA wants to replace Punxsutawney Phil, the groundhog that comes out of his hole every February 2 and looks for his shadow, with – get this – a robot! Freakin’ fuckin’ Robo-Phil! How in hell is that fat little doorstop being treated cruelly? Is it cruel that the town fathers haul this overstuffed beaver out of a cage, hold him up to the crowd and declare whether or not we get six more weeks of winter? This creature has got it made. If he had to live out in the wild, he’d probably be paired up with a nagging wife, two dozen yelping pups, live in a groundhog project condo with three dozen other groundhog families and their screaming ilks, no iPod, no iPhone, no more cable TV and groundhog porn, no more eight square meals a day, it’s back to the crickets, grubworms, nuts and berries. And PETA wants to replace him with a robot. You know what this leads to, doncha’ folks? Robot zoo animals. You betcha’ ! It’ll be like Westworld with animals.

Demonic carniverous electric penguins - a very bad idea!

And who’s gonna’ be responable when the robo-animals’ circuits or programming go wacky? You won’t care, you’ll be too busy running for your freakin’ lives from the demonic carniverous electric penguins. PETA, you go too, too far, you must be stopped, next thing, they’ll stop Ecuadorians from eating fried guinea pigs, ban exterminators from using Ro-Kill to remove vermin from your home,

guinea pig - it's what for dinner!

If we’re not too careful they might even try to subvert the war on plaque and tooth decay (bacteria has a right to live, too!), this shit gets so quickly out of hand because some idiots can’t stand seeing some sad-eyed Bossie get turned into a Wendy’s triple stacker or a few tons of tuna wind up on neat little bed of rice in a sushi bar. Grow up and get real lives, people! Think about how some people are treating other people cruelly, try to stop that, will you, before you throw yourselves in front of a rabbit warren or a bear cave, trying to protect some vermin that is just as soon as have you for lunch as look at you. Don’t believe me? Watch Grizzly Man Diaries from iTunes, this guy thought he was Jesus Christ of the bears, in the end, him and his girlfriend turned out to be the main course at The Last Supper.