Honestly, what the fuck is wrong with these people? Worst of all are the smug fuckers who not only tell you how far they just ran, but also how many minutes it took them to run their nine miles or whatever. People, if you’re doing this, please stop. The rest of us don’t want to hear about it. Yes, we’re happy that you’re so fit, and your heart is so healthy, and you still wear the same size jeans as you did in high school. Bully for you. But frankly, the Facebook bragging just forces us to think about how small your penis must be, and honestly, we don’t want to think about your penis. We really don’t. So just go do your run and write it down in your jogging diary and then shut the fuck up about it. Okay?
Also: you people who hold forth at dinner parties about how many times a week you go to your yoga class and how great you feel after yoga and you’re so addicted to yoga and you just think everyone should try yoga? Enough already. Stop it.