Continuing with the theme I started last week with the piece about people who use Facebook to brag about their triumphant jogging achievements, let me just say this: What the fuck is up with these people who bring their own pillow to the airport? As you know, I don’t fly commercial — just the thought of it gives me hives — but I do see these idiots at the San Jose airport and I wonder, How far can you possibly be traveling? New York is like five hours away. You need a pillow for that? Hell, even if you’re flying to China, do you really need a pillow? And what about these people who show up wearing outfits that are basically pajamas? Al Gore does that and it drives me crazy. The other day he flew with me to LA. He shows up in a velour track suit and some L.L. Bean slippers, with one of those U-shaped neck pillows and a bag of snacks and a pair of Bose QC-15 headphones in a special case and this huge bottle of water, like maybe he’s going to the desert for a month and needs to make sure he won’t dehydrate to death. I’m like, Dude, we’re gonna be in the air for like an hour, and when we land we’re going to be in a big city where they sell water and food. He says it doesn’t matter, this is how he travels. Jesus. People, it’s an airplane. You get on, you sit in a chair, they take you someplace. You get off the plane and go about your day. You do not need special clothes and pillows and stuffed animals and big stupid ass Bose headphones. Okay? Just get on the plane, sit down and shut the fuck up. Are we clear on this? Good.