We’ve just received word that Walt Mossberg has collapsed on the sidewalk outside Yerba Buena. That’s all we have at the moment. One minute he was standing there doing a monologue about the tablet and raving about how amazing it is and not letting anyone else get a word in edgewise — and then bam. He went down. Katie B. (in photo with Walt) has called for an ambulance. Kara Swisher immediately posted the news and then began monitoring other blogs to make sure they credit her with the scoop.

Jeff Bezos was chasing me around with a Kindle, trying to kill me with it. That’s all I remember. But just for the record, our device is not about killing Kindle. I mean, yes, that is going to happen. But the Kindle is just sort of collateral damage. Anyway, Jeff Bezos, I’m putting you on notice — stop haunting my dreams.

It’s like ten minutes to go and the world is nervous and quivery. It’s like February 1964 when ED Sullivan was preparing America to hear four young moptops belted out, “All My Loving”

yeah it’s that kind of excitement, I’m tellin’ ya

Because there is going to be one, trust me. This device isn’t as obvious as iPhone. It’s kind of subtle. Which means that those of you who have done the spiritual work to prepare for it will be fine, but those who haven’t done the work, well, they’re probably going to miss a lot of this at first. So you’ll see some noise about who needs this thing, it’s just a fancy desk ornament, and so on. I am telling you this now so that you can be ready for the harsh voices and they won’t hurt you when you hear them. Just let the negativity pass by you. Do not engage with it or try to fight it or argue with it. Step aside, and let the dark energy flow away.

Peace, enlightened beings. This is what you and I were put on earth to achieve. And that is what this device ultimately is about. Yes, you can read on it, and watch movies. But those are functions. Features. Those aren’t its purpose. The purpose of a device is something different altogether. What this is about is bringing people together to form the universal One, the great synchronization of human vibration in a global mesh of energy, like the planet in Avatar. That is the real goal. We are all one person. One spirit. I am inside you, and you are inside me. (Not really.) But anyway, do not allow yourselves to forget the higher purpose of what we are doing.

Oh, and we are totally going to fuck the cable carriers. But that too is just a side issue.

Just got word that a convoy of four armored SUVs has left campus. Three of the cars contain dummy prototypes, and one contains the real deal — two actual tablets, the first ones that have ever been released into the wild. Moshe (at left, holding rifle) assures me everything went smoothly. Snipers are in position on rooftops around Yerba Buena, and the building is being swept again this morning.

I’m already up in the city. I stayed here last night with my entourage — Kuso Sukatoro, my colonicist; Jennie Falcone, my spiritual advisor; BreezeAnne, my house manager; Ja’Red; Akira, my chef; and my Pilates instructor, Michael Peterson. We’ve got the top floor at an undisclosed location, and I made a point of going to bed early. But honestly, I couldn’t sleep. Which is okay. I feel fine. Better than fine. I feel alive. Someone just brought me a mango smoothie and I’m just so here, you know? Totally living in the present. Just here in the moment. Peace to all living things. Prepare to have the world as you know it utterly changed forever.

So delicious you wanna take a bite out of her, babealicious CNET News reporter Erica Ogg is ogging live

I’m begging her to go up on stage during show and plant one on Steve. Yeah, I’m a stinker, but I’ll make an honest woman of her. Some day. Just not. Today.

They’re wrong, they’ve been grubered.

Here’s the pics, debate amongst yourselves

Go here now for Wired coverage or go to Dear Leaders coverage instead, since Twitter is threatening to crash

Latest potentially fake-or-not image.  We’ll know soon enough.

C’mon guys, you’ve done much better than this! This is like eighth grade high school newspaper humor, you know.

Doyle Redland never fails to amuse me. Like this one right here: