Google vs China, so far ….

You’d think it was the freakin’ Cuban Missile Crisis. Google threatens to get out of China after the last spy attack . The U.S. government steps in to try to pour oil on the waters (believe me, Google was preparing to take out Baidu before Hillary stepped in, waving her finger), trying to prevent everyone from acting like cyber-idiots. Google now denies it was ever going to pull out of China and is investigating its options and still surveying damage from last attack. China’s government gets all flustered saying, “Who, me?”, “He’s a lying capitalist whore!” (No, that’s Ballmer, guys) , while the local citizens are panicking like hell they’ll lose all their neato Google tools and are buying insane amounts of gold and silver because they think it’s the end of the world (don’t believe that bullish blogger about gold hitting the stratosphere;

preferred by Rabid Fanboys over devalued currency

if gold hits $5000 an ounce, it’ll only happen if the dollar becomes worth less than toilet paper, personally I prefer Cottonelle to premium U.S. bond paper). A lot of Google’s attitude in this pantomime has been emanating from Sergey and Page,

c'mon, pick up, pick up!

while Schmidt’s been trying to keep them and the engineers in line, while catching hell from both the State Department, the CIA, US CTO Aneesh Chopra and hanging up a lot on Ron Kirk.  Carol Bartz has been trying to burnish Yahoo!’s image by “me, too!”-ing a lot, and gets bodyslammed in press by its partner in China,but, wouldn’t you know it, nobody really cared. If you live in Washington, DC area , you can attend a “What The Fuck Does It All Mean?” public discussion hosted by Slate.com and some other nerdsylvanians. Whatever happens we better pay attention, just in case they start rationing the internet all of a sudden or our home pages suddenly starts looking like this: