Sarah Palin: Jesus says don’t do it, and by the way, Levi’s penis is only this big

20080905_nar_w37_127.jpg“Why do you think he wouldn’t show his junk in Playgirl? Ricky Hollywood my ass. Ricky Peanutdick is more like it. Anyway. You know, I was on my bus last night praying on this with my minister, Pastor Jim, and the fact is, Jesus loves you and he doesn’t want you to do this Operation Chokehold thing. Also, what kind of sicko leftie socialist creep are you? Instead of running protests why don’t you get on the side of the innovationers and the entreprenurians and pass some new laws so that small business job creationists can create jobs and not be bogged down by more and more big government laws and regulations? And what’s next? You’re gonna fly your freaks up to Alaska and try to sabotage an oil pipeline? Do you realize I have a disabled baby? What happens if I can’t make an emergency phone call? What you’re doing is basically a form of euthanasia. And what happens if David Letterman shows up and tries to rape my underage daughter again, and she can’t call the police? What happens then? Are you going to raise David Letterman’s love child? The only thing that gives me peace is the knowledge that in the afterlife, sweet loving baby Jesus is going to cast you down into a big fiery pit of fiery fire, right next to Barney Frank and the gays and the abortion doctors and the greenie environmentalists. Have fun with your stupid prank, you buffoon. And by the way, I read what Al Gore told you, and as for this global warming hooha conference that’s taking place in Norway, take it from me — I live in the Arctic, and it is freezing cold up here right now. I mean like record cold. So there.”