Dem mangy Swissies are trying to pull a fast one and Larry is beyond pissed. No one gets hand on Larry, no one, fer crissakes! We may have to invade – cripes, Larry is already in talks with his capos in Lombardy about taking out Ticino! – geez, this is freakin’ serious! Is there anyway Barry can cut his vacation short and talk Larry down? Well, if Larry is looking for a war song to march on de Swissies, I’ve got the man for the job, right here. It’s Little Jack Melody and his Young Turks and their first effort from 1990 is our album of the week. You can buy direct from artist here, too. See ya’ in in the Tyrol, first dibs on the yo-de-ladies … and you can take that to the bank and count your cuckoos before they hatch, too!

Not David Foster Wallace!

Some where, out there, David Carradine is getting a real charge outta’ this … I like to think.

… and you can take that to the bank and choke that chicken silly!

xkcd can be accessed here

[this, undoubtably is going to read like much of that spam you get from your nostalgic, politically active relatives' e-mail, but this is from an actual article researched by blogger Annie Lowrey and published online at Foreign Policy. Links provided by yours truly]

On this day in 1999…

Lou Dobbs was a respected, middle-of-the-road journalist.

The prospect of achieving Middle East peace seemed imminent.

Beltway pundits believed Al Gore and George W. Bush were centrists who would govern similarly.

You could meet your loved ones at their arrival gate.

There were more than 2 million Christians living in Iraq.

Osama bin Laden was living with his family in a compound in Kandahar.

China’s GDP was $1.4 trillion, half of Germany’s.

Israel still had troops in Lebanon.

Nobody had ever heard of Somali pirates.

Something called Inktomi was the world’s largest search engine.

Everybody was clamoring for the new file-sharing program Napster.

We worried Y2K would bring the global banking infrastructure to its knees.

Illinois State Senator Barack Obama campaigned for a spot in the House of Representatives.

First Lady Hillary Clinton campaigned for a spot in the Senate.

Wasilla, Alaska, Mayor Sarah Palin considered running for state-wide office.

India had fewer than a billion citizens.

Strongman Slobodan Milosevic still ruled in Yugoslavia.

The human genome had not yet been mapped.

The Concorde flew between Paris and New York.

Alan Greenspan was widely heralded as the world’s greatest financial thinker.

Boris Yeltsin was preparing to step down and make way for the young pragmatist Vladimir Putin.

The Dow Jones closed at 11,484. (Today, it’s at 10,545.)

The United States had a record federal budget surplus.

I bet you thought I was going to end this with one of those, ” and you can take that to the bank and twaddle your own turnips“, didn’t you? What? Huh? Oh …. crap!

Thanks to Wikipedia and various Google sites for a lot of heavy lifting.

Looks like Nexus One will cost $529.99 unlocked, and as a $179.99 T-Mobile phone with two-year deal.  Get the scoop here.

So this couple decided to zip past a greeter at a Tennessee Walmart, with a ton of TVs and computers in their cart.  An off duty cop thinks that might be a bit suspicious, so he checks it out.  The man with the cart thinks the badge is fake, gets wrestled to the ground. Then the wife decides to have a fake heart attack and suddenly claims she doesn’t know who her husband is. Then there’s a stabbing in the parking lot, and just read it all right here. Photo from People Of Walmart.com.

Nokia is not going down without a fight. Apple will not be the only one, Google will get hit next and others. It’s tough when your market share dives off the cliff like a Hawaiian pearl diver and you can take that to the bank and a choke a Clydesdale.

I know I’d like to have one of these.  But, you can only get it from Google Japan. Here’s the lowdown, but it’s all Japanese to me.  The translated version isn’t much clearer.

This guy may be many people’s new personal hero. With only days to go before his final relelase, he decides to take it on the lam during a day release and has been posting regularly on FB, even hinting he may leave Blighty and head across the big pond and pay us Yanks a visit. and you can take that to the bank and tickle your ass with a bandicoot.

Juliet Lapidos breaks it down at Slate.com, so you don’t have to. Does Al-Qaida still wanna’ claim this lunkhead as one of their own? You betcha’, and you can take that to the bank and choke on it.

(it’s retarded catchphrase day on Rapid Fanboy. Suffer, chillun’ suffer…)

Never does one hear or read so many excuses for blithe literate witticisms – and you can take that to the bank and smoke it.