ET, please iPhone home

Mosspuppet has a story about how Dear Leader has an alien kept in a secret location at Apple HQ, and that the alien is the source of all the childlike wonder these past few years.  Some wingnut in Alaska brings up points like, “Steve’s return to health – did he go to another state for a liver transplant, or did the alien fix him?  Steve’s Reality Distortion Field - It’s not just a joke; it’s an actual reality distortion field, used by Emperor Gleb’thos to rig the Kreltar elections in 23-’124.”  Of course, it all figures. This guy is from Alaska, and we know there’s another wingnut or two up there, sure, you betcha.