The whole fetish started when I was a kid, watching Eartha Kitt on the old Batman show. Woz and I used to get baked and watch that show in the afternoon. Woz was a fan of sexy librarian Barbara Gordon, aka Batgirl, and he also liked the dude who played King Tut. But for me it was Catwoman, only Catwoman, and only the Eartha Kitt Catwoman. Not Lee Meriwether or Julie Newmar. Yes, black Catwoman made me nuts, and then Woz would go home for supper and I’d be home alone, and look, I was a high school kid, with all the usual high school boy interests, which is my way of saying that I know what you’re thinking, and the answer is yes, I did.
Needless to say I was pretty much totally in love as soon as I saw Michelle Obama for the first time. Those arms! Then over the weekend she shows up in a cat suit, with those sexy ears and the look in her eyes like she’s getting ready to pounce on some helpless little creature, and I’m like, Oh dear God, please let that helpless creature be me! I mean seriously, it’s like it’s 1970 all over again. All these buried feelings and repressed memories just came roaring out of my subconscious. Shelly, sweet Shelly, this is too much. Too much!