Dog food, ice cream — come on, Borg. We all know what it really is.

Mmmm, Windows Server

Mmmm, Windows Server

Check out this hilarious blog post about Microsoft’s CIO and his Orwellian campaign to alter perceptions by changing language. See, at the Borg, they talk about “eating our own dog food,” meaning using the same technology they ship to customers for their own internal purposes too. They’ve even turned that into a verb — they talk about “dogfooding,” which often refers to a process by which the Borg acquires a company that runs non-Borg software and then forces the victim to migrate their perfectly good systems over to Borg-based offerings, usually with disastrous results. (Por ejemplo, look this up under¬†Danger, Sidekick, problems with.) The solution to this problem? Easy peezy. Make better software, right? Um, no. See, the better solution is to keep the software the same but just call it something else. So at the Borg, they’re not going to call it “dog-fooding” anymore. They’re going to call it “ice-creaming.” As in, “Here at Microsoft, we happily ¬†eat our own tasty, delicious, steaming piles of … ice cream.”

Hey look! You got peanuts! And a fly! No fair! Mom!