Engadget has a full explanation, but basically, some dope melted down an OLPC craptop and molded it into a colorful toy. See, Nicholas Negroponte? It wasn’t all a pointless gesture after all.

Have decided to stick with Blogger for a while — Eric begged me not to go. I told him I hate these goddamn templates and want a custom design. He said he’d give me one of his best designers and I’m like, Uh, nothing personal, but have you looked at the Web pages your “best people” put out? Have you seen the Google home page? You’re getting out-styled by Bing. That’s like going on Celebrity Jeopardy and losing to Sean Connery.

Anyway, I need some code assistance from someone who understands the frigtarded mess that is the Blogger infrastructure. Do such people even exist? Or have they all long ago fled to WordPress?

So yeah, Snow Leopard had some issues. The iPod team spent a year and rolled out a Nano with a camera. Now people are bitching about the new iPhone operating system 3.1 update which apparently has a feature called “Coma Mode.” People are even putting up complaints on our own message boards, faster than we can scrub them off.

Apple faithful, I’m going to level with you. I was gone for six months, and people slacked off. They just did. It happens. To be completely honest, for six months before my leave I wasn’t really here that much either. So yeah. They’ve had a year with no Jobso to scare the shit out of them. Rest assured that now that I’m back, the beatings will resume, morale will improve, and the trains will run on time again. And in case you’re still wondering what Apple would be like without Steve Jobs — well, now you know.

I’ve heard people say Win7 doesn’t suck as much as Vista. But to say it’s better than Snow Leopard? Really? Not just on par, but better?

Man oh man. I mean I know the Borg is on a full-out assault against Apple and whipping up “Truther-style mobs of angry people who long to live in the past under the Microsoft administration,” as our good friend Daniel Eran Dilger recently wrote. But I was still pretty stunned to see “journalist” Joe Wilcox throw aside every last shred of dignity and tell people, flat out, the incredible lie that Windows 7 is better than Snow Leopard. Not as good. Better. Money quote:

The Mac OS X user interface, once trendsetting, is now a tired motif overdue for overhaul. Worse, Apple hints at what the UI could and should be in a few places, with QuickTime being the most visible example. The QuickTime UI is refreshing and new — delightful. Something similar should skin much of Snow Leopard. Worse still, QuickTime’s more modern UI is jarring reminder when switching back to the Snow Leopard Finder about how old most of the rest of Mac OS X feels. By comparison, Windows 7 feels surprisingly fresh.

And this:

I find myself to be way more productive using Windows 7 than any Mac OS X version, and that’s surprising to me. For years, the greater productivity claim belonged to Mac OS X. Consistently, I get about 30 percent to 40 percent more work done using Windows 7 than either Leopard or Snow Leopard. … More importantly, I have loads more fun using Windows 7 than Mac OS X.

Joe Wilcox, have you no shame? Have you no sense of decency, sir?

The latest from my friend Vladimir Putin:

Childrens Playing with Matches

Dearest Styopa,

Spoiled childrens at Google bring attention to updates of Spreadsheet which are adding script feature. Google illustrates new feature with example of expense report:

I am knowing many peoples look at such are thinking, “Why hotel is costing three times airplane ticket?” “Why beverages costing twice food?” “Why amounts divisible by 100?” But I am not accountant. I am President of Russia. I cannot be concerned with such tiny, quibbling details. No, I am wondering why first item is “Fireworks.” Is not even Russia Day! Is curious, yes?

Later I am reading about fire happening at Google London “barbecue.” Fortunately, no one is reported hurt. Perhaps fireman is made ravenous by smell of burning meats, but no one is being hurt.

Even more curious! Google expense report “example” from before fire is showing meats of barbecue, fireworks, and flight to London! Perhaps fire of Google London office is not fault of greasy British beef?

Later I am reading about Google buying giant lens to melt metals and burn foods in parking lot. Fire, as recreational activity!

In Russia we are paying attention to childrens with unhealthy interest in setting fires…. Time to pay attention, America!

Just as in the real world, right? Anyway this is what some guy has figured out, and he has charts to prove it. Much love to Marc from Tumblr for the tip.

Scary fanboy makes a video in which he plays the role of God, talking to me. Note that this loser dresses like me, and even sports a lame copy of my stubbly beard. I have no idea what this guy is talking about, but I do understand his fantasy about being God. Katie says it’s pretty common among the fanboys. If anyone can translate this into something normal people can understand, please do. Really. Does anyone know what he’s talking about? Caution: NSFW.

Google? Arrogant? You think? Hot on the heels of his first visit to an Apple store, Henry “Bubble Boy” Blodget has had another revelation: Google is arrogant. Man, that is so “insidery.” Frankly I think Henry is just pissed because yesterday Alley Insider’s ace reporter, Dan “Scoop” Frommer, reported that Google was buying BrightCove. Frommer had this nailed down — it was based on a single tweet from another reporter. But then Google comes along and says it’s not true. Talk about arrogant!

It’s pretty basic neuro-linguistic programming. Works great for picking up girls, too. Just FYI.

A gaming platform? The fuhrer begs to differ. Much love to E.B. for the tip.