Ballmer: In future, when you scream at your miserable frozen piece of shit Windows PC, it will be smart enough to understand why you’re angry


So Monkey Boy was giving a speech in Charlotte, N.C. (see the article about it here) and he says that in ten years we’ll have computers that can understand our “intent.” As in, “Dear PC, because you make my life a living hell, I intend to set you on fire now and then smash you with a fucking mallet.” Ballmer also informed his audience that “Users will be able to speak to, touch and gesture at their computers even more.” Uh-huh. And I can already imagine the kind of gestures those poor frigtards will be making, can’t you? Finally, Fester says we’ll also have computers that are as thin as a sheet of paper. Which will, of course, enable those computers to take up less room in a landfill after people get them home and realize that they don’t actually work.

Man oh man. Can someone explain to me again how it is that we only have 4 percent market share against these buffoons?

(Much love to art director Jay for the improved photograph.)